Okay, who put my life story between the pages of a romance novel? This could get me fired! David, however, is highly flattered to know he's considered a hero and is thinking of growing his hair long, a la Fabio. I, however, have read the story of Samson and Delilah and know the efficacy of a good haircut in keeping a man under my thumb. <g>

Anyway, thanks to whoever wrote all that down. I hope it was accurate. If not, you may be hearing from my lawyers...

~Betsy

About the middle of August, I'll have forgotten why I enjoy summer, so while I'm still enamoured <sp?> of the season, I thought I'd make this list.

Reasons To Love Summer...

1. A chaise lounge by the pool. Need I say more?

2. A good book, read while lying in a chaise lounge by the pool.

3. Watching the little neighbor girl catch fireflies. (All later humanely released, of course.)

4. The rose garden two streets away that I pass every day while I'm out walking.

5. The smell of charcoal and hamburgers.

6. Popsicles, especially the exotic-flavored ones from the place over in Twelve South.

7. Vacation! I'm dreaming of the beach this year.

8. Daylight until almost 9:00 p.m.!

9. Summer re-runs of 'Lost.'

And,

10. I don't have to wear a robe in the pulpit! (This is, apparently, a fashion rule peculiar to Church of the Shepherd wherein one's clarical garb is abandoned from Memorial Day until Labor Day.)

Hope that you're enjoying your summer so far,

~Betsy

Lord, as I begin my day
I have the best of intentions.
I will spend time in prayer.
I will stay on my diet.
I will be kind and compassionate.

But Lord, I know that
my good intentions aren't enough
to carry me through the day.
I may run out of time to pray.
Krispy Kreme will call my name.
I will get tired and frustrated.

Lord, my intentions are good,
but they're not enough.
So, if you could walk with me today,
I'd be much obliged.

Amen.

~Betsy

1. I am =so= done with American Idol after Chris Daughtery got the boot. He's clearly the most talented artist on the show. First Mandisa, now Chris, followed by my hitting the 'off' button on my remote.

2. Why does Tom Cruise only have major life events when he has a movie to promote? I'm going to have a 'Team Brooke' t-shirt printed up. And how icky is it that Tom recently announced Katie Holmes's name would be 'Kate' from now on. He said 'Katie' was a little girl's name. This will come as something of a surprise to Katie Couric, soon to be the first solo female network news anchor.

3. I finally finished the DaVinci Code. Frankly, I find it annoying rather than heretical. Sure there's something interesting stuff in there, but one thing Dale Brown forgot to include? Well, that would be the point of the whole conspiracy. 'Cause somehow a bunch of men keeping the sacred feminine a secret doesn't sound much different than what our patriarchal society has done throughout history....

4. The headline on msnbc.com says, "Novitski leads Mavs past Spurs." The correct headline would be, "Refs lead Mavs past Spurs." The Big N went to the free throw line more than twenty times. No bias there. Tim Rules!

<sigh> followed by a 'harumph.'

~Betsy

1. Since it's April 27, I can legally go back to the Harris-Teeter pharmacy and buy more Sudafed. Because I might have a meth lab in the church basement, you know, so I'd better be monitored closely...

2. Write sermon for Sunday. (I always put this on my list for Thursday but rarely does it get done before Saturday night. We in the preaching biz refer to these as 'Saturday Night Specials.')

3. Pray. For a change. Somehow being in charge of other people's spiritual lives means never having time for one of your own.

4. Be grateful. I've got a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes in my closet, and running water. That's more than about 90% of the world can say.

5. Download last night's episode of 'Lost' to my iPod. Since my VCR is broken and I work on Wednesday nights, it's the only way to get my fix. Oh, to be Kate and have both Sawyer and Jack salivating over me....<g>

6. Buy more tea bags. I like PG Tips from England. A real working man's tea that will metaphorically put hair on your chest. At least, I hope it's metaphorical.

7. Follow Weight Watchers today. No giving up at 10:00 a.m. when my blood sugar drops and the Krispy Kremes start calling my name.

8. Walk dog. (Did I mention I got a dog? Clearly I've lost my mind.)

9. Knit. (Did I mention I'm trying to learn to knit? Again, I've clearly lost my mind. As if my life isn't tangled enough already.)

10. Call my mother. Have martini first.

Off to the races,

~Betsy

I went to the pharmacy at my local grocery yesterday to pick up some more Claritin-D and Sudafed since it's spring in Nashville and everything (including me) is covered with pollen. But when I tried to purchase some of the 24 hour Claritin-D plus a box of the plain Sudafed, the pharmacist said no way because I was over the legal 'limit' of how much you can purchase in a 30 day period.

Now I know that there are some sick/sad people out there running meth labs and that it's not a bad idea to monitor people's purchase of pseudophedrine. But when the 'limit' means you can barely buy enough for one person, there's something wrong with this picture. The thing is, I need to have several different forms of Sudafed on hand: 24-hr Claritin-D for when it's really bad, the 12 hour version for when it's medium bad, and just the individual Sudafed 'red hots' for when I'm just a little congested or about to get on an airplane. And what in the world would I do if I had a family and needed to buy some for them?

You know, as the very nice pharmacist pointed out to me, people who are running meth labs don't generally buy Sudafed. They steal it. So at what point do law-abiding, allergy-suffering, upright citizens say, "Enough!"?

I only take the stuff during the fall and spring, but apparently I'm going to have to buy it year round, on a steady schedule, so I can stockpile enough for those critical times.

<sigh>

I have enough to manage in my life without having to put a reminder in my Outlook to go buy Sudafed once a month.

Harumph.

~Betsy

Now that Katie C. is poised to become the first solo-female-news-anchor-at-a-major-network, I think I should share some helpful tips with her for being taken seriously as a woman in a man's profession. So, here goes:

1. Lose the brassy blonde hair color. Nothing screams 'Bimbo' to the powers-that-be like the Sun-In look. I recommend a nice chestnut brown.

2. Lose the tan, too. Serious journalists are only tanned if they've been reporting from Iraq, and then they have white rings around their eyes from wearing sunglasses.

3. Don't show those fabulous gams. Period. Once they see your legs, they won't want to take you seriously. I learned this the hard way one summer when I wore a short skirt on the chancel. My knees were all anyone at Church of the Shepherd could talk about for a week.

Well, that's all I can think of for the moment. Best of luck, Katie. Go out there and win one for the gipper! Or the girls, as the case may be.

~Betsy

The tornados <sp?> that have ripped through Tennessee this week certainly put my gripes and complaints into perspective. If you are inclined to pray, please spare a few moments to remember the folks who've been devastated by the tornados this week. The one in Nashville went north of me yesterday, so all is well at Church of the Shepherd. Still, many people have lost their homes and businesses. Also, remember the Metro Baptist Church of Goodlettsville (a Nashville suburb) that lost most of their sanctuary.

It's a good day to count blessings and to lend someone else a helping hand.

~Betsy

I can't believe Mandisa got the boot! Harumph. What were the people of America thinking? I guess we can't accept someone who doesn't have the perfect body as an idol, much as I'd hoped we could.

Double harumph. I'm off to drown my sorrows in a half-caff non-fat one Splenda latte.

Did I mention 'harumph'?

~Betsy

A thought for the day from one of my all-time heroes:

"Courage is simply fear that has said its prayers."
-- Anne Lamott

~ Betsy